Famous Quotes By George Burns


  1. At my age flowers scare me.
  2. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
  3. Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
  4. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
  5. Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
  6. I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
  7. I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
  8. I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
  9. I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
  10. I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
  11. I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
  12. I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
  13. If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
  14. I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
  15. I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
  16. Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
  17. Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
  18. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
  19. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
  20. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
  21. You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

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