Famous Quotes By Will Rogers


  1. A fool and his money are soon elected.
  2. A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
  3. A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
  4. Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
  5. America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
  6. An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
  7. Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
  8. Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
  9. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
  10. Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
  11. Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
  12. Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
  13. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
  14. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  15. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
  16. I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
  17. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
  18. I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
  19. I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
  20. I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
  21. If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
  22. If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
  23. If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
  24. If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
  25. If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
  26. If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
  27. I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
  28. In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
  29. It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
  30. It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
  31. It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
  32. Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
  33. Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
  34. Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
  35. Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
  36. Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
  37. On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
  38. People are getting smarter nowadays they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
  39. Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
  40. Politics is applesauce.
  41. So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
  42. Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
  43. The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
  44. The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
  45. The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
  46. The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
  47. The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
  48. The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
  49. The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
  50. The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
  51. The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
  52. The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
  53. There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
  54. There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
  55. There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
  56. There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
  57. Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
  58. This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
  59. We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
  60. We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?
  61. We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
  62. When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
  63. Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.
  64. You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

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